What if I told you that I think you're perfect? Beautiful sky in your eyes, it's so worth it, I know. You make me feel alive.What if I told you that I'm in for forever? Nothing to hide, yeah, I'll go wherever you would go. You make me feel alive. And I'll be hanging on every word you say to me. Hanging on a feeling that I get, cause you make me laugh a little louder, love a little harder.



When you truly care for someone, you don`t look for faults. You don`t look for answers. You don`t look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes. You accept the faults, and you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure.



Your love’s a gathered storm I chased across the sky. A moment in your arms became the reason why. And you’re still the only light that fills the emptiness. The only one I need until my dying breath. And I would give you everything just to feel your open arms. And I’m not sure I believe anything I feel. And now, now that you’re near, there’s nothing more without you, without you here.



“When you talked earlier about after a few years how a couple would begin to hate each other by anticipating their reactions, or getting tired of their mannerisms... I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I could really fall in love when I know everything about someone. The way he's gonna part his hair, what shirt he's gonna wear that day, knowing the exact story he'd tell given a situation. I'm sure that's when I'll know I'm really in love.”



"When I awoke this morning, you were still asleep. As I awoke, I heard you gently breathing. I saw your closed eyes beneath wisps of stray hair and I was deeply moved. I wanted to cry out, to wake you, but you slept so deeply, so soundly. In the half light, your skin glowed with life so warm and sweet. I wanted to kiss it, but I was afraid of you awake in my arms again. Instead, I wanted something no one could take from me; mine alone, this eternal image of you. Beyond your face I saw a pure, beautiful vision showing us in the perspective of my whole life... all the years to come, even all the years past.This was the most miraculous thing: to feel, for the first time, that you had always been mine. That this night would go on for ever, united with your warmth, your will. At that moment I realized, how much I loved you. I wept with the intensity of the emotion. For I felt that this must never end, we would remain like this for all our lives, not only close, but belonging to each other in a way that nothing could ever destroy, except the apathy of habit, the only threat. Then you wakened and, smiling, put your arms around me, kissed me and I felt that there was nothing to fear. We would always be as we were in that moment, bound by stronger ties than time and habit."



Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. But then one day, you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment, you realize you're happy.



Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into clarity, problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else's dream come true, or in the promise with hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy, because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.



"Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing."



You peel back the layers and get down to the inside, but sometimes you lose sight of what it was you were trying to find. And it's that sort of thing that makes you think too much. It's that sort of thing that makes you lose your objectivity. So if you made it, just be glad that you did and stay there. If you ever feel loved or needed, remember that you're one of the lucky ones. And if it's over, just remember what I told you .It was bound to happen so just keep moving on, there are no perfect endings.

No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should’ve been paying attention.



"I'm homesick all the time," she said, still not looking at him. "I just don't know where home is. There's this promise of happiness out there. I know it. I even feel it sometimes. But it's like chasing the moon - just when I think I have it, it disappears into the horizon. I grieve and try to move on, but then the damn thing comes back the next night, giving me hope of catching it all over again."



The things we are told and the things we see as we're pulled from the ground like flowers, broken and beautiful, are so often are the things we become. Still what most of us seem to be searching for is love; this complex connection to another strange traveler. A wind that wakes us in the gloaming as the sun fades behind the hills and reminds us that some nights aren't meant to be slept through.



Sex should feel as natural as drinking water. It should not require confidence. Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe. Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire. You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.” It’s about being happy. One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough. What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later. Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be. I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this. I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality. It’s passion. It’s joy. Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception. I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way. “Good in bed,” what. You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you. Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel. This isn’t a test.



I spent most of last night dragging this lake for the corpses of all my past mistakes. Sell me out, the joke's on you. I am salt, you are the wound. Empty another bottle and let me tear you to pieces. This is me wishing you into the worst situations. I'm the kind of kid that can't let anything go, but you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat.

I love when you realized that some things don't faze you anymore, when there's no longer a sting or a twinge or a sick feeling in your stomach when your hear a certain song on the radio or when you can actually enjoy a movie you once loved or a place you used to avoid to a point that you've forgotten about it and now can rediscover why it was so beautiful in the first place without your heart reliving the memories that will always be attached to them. I love that because that just proves that you can move on or that you have moved on, and that you will be able to do it again.



And you're the only place that feels like home. Just so you know, you'll never know. And some secrets weren't meant to be told, but I found the cure to growing older. I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends. And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again. They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone. But for what we've become, we just feel more alone. Always weigh what I've got against what I left. So progress report: I am missing you to death.



And you lit your cigarettes and told me you loved my voice in the dark. It might have been the second-hand smoke, but I felt like we were younger than ever. I felt like we were in the safest place we could ever be. I felt like maybe I could teach you things other people would never notice about me. I felt like everything about this place was expanding into things I couldn't keep. And I knew we were something very static, something that was already falling apart from the beginning. But I've always been very fascinated by any sort of love; and I'll take all alteration. And it's not that I'm needy, I've never been very needy. I'm mostly complacent. But I'm also curious, and that's the part of me that gets dangerous. The part of me that's doing things and taking risks and writing poetry and reaching out to people who don't even know me and scaring the shit out of the calm and complacent side of me. And I've spent most of my life convincing myself that this is who I am and I'm not interested in changing. I'm not interested in conquering social interactions or going out of my love on a whim. I'm careful and I'm low-pitched, but I feel very accurately, I love very deliberately. And yet, I've also spent most of my life questioning when I'd ever start to live like I'm not afraid to be here. Like I'm not afraid to be noticed in a room full of people. Like I'm not afraid to dance or love or like or shake a fucking hand or kiss a goddamn mouth that's just as young and half-empty/half-full as mine. I talk about change and it's not that I'm afraid, it's just that its safe. But you know what they say, right? They say that if you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done before.



Her hair's still wet from her bath, she's sittin' on the front porch with a glass of iced tea. In my sweat shirt and her bare feet, this I gotta see. If I hurry, I can catch the colors on her skin from that sunset, and her face and that love waitin’ on me. This I gotta see.

“I sat down with coffee and caramel creamer. Every drop tasted so good. I had corduroy pants on and a thin sweat shirt. He sat next to me as I lifted my legs and rested them against him. It always feels like this with him; just right. Comfortable, but yet sweet. As if I could stare into his eyes forever. I lov ethat. I love how things haven't changed. But let's face it, we are still the couple who bickers early in the morning. We still cuddle. We still make dinner together and argue over the stupidest, littlest things. But let's face it -that's all it ever is. The small stuff, and you can't sweat that. We love each other. Love. We have that, and we hold onto that strong feeling. I felt all these thoughts go through my head as he grabbed onto my hand. The television was playing a movie. I sat watching the scenes flash by. It seems so nice, just to sit. To sit in silence and feel, happy. I love it. I love knowing that this is it. That this is all I need. It's a beautiful feeling.”



That time we took a ride, ended up down by the river side. Soft touch,wet kiss. I always liked that best. I like the way you hold me I like the way you came to know me. Falling to sleep, wearing your shirt 'cause it smelled so sweet. Who could forget? I always liked that best. Or losing my heart every time you sang to me on your guitar "Lady in Red". I always liked that best.



My heart longs to tell you how I feel towards you. I wish I could tell you just how much you have touched me. Just how much you have taught me. Just how much you’ve made me happy. Just how when you hold me, my body tingles. Just how when you smile at me, it touches my heart in such a way that no one else can ever come close to. Just how the way you love me makes me want to be a better person. Just the way I want nothing more than to be able to hold you everyday of my life, and how that alone would be enough. But, I can’t tell you all these; the way I truly feel them, because there aren’t enough words in this world that can truly explain just how I love you.


I hope some of you lovely people still visit this site. Enjoy the rest of your summer. I'm psyched for fall :) Comments are always appreciated.

I came to make a difference, but I just made a mess. I tried to say I love you, but denied you instead. And the tides that bind keep me torn between oceans. I am tired now from the inside out, and nothing can stop the war that I've started with myself. And I am finding out that I'm losing ground, and nothing can stop the war that I've started with myself.



As I say the words, I realize how true they are. And maybe that's the trick to getting through it, through life... realizing that everybody, including ourselves, is lugging around some kind of screwed-up baggage. Maybe we are put here to help each other carry the loads.



We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing, to art, because we desperately do not want to be alone. We want to know we aren’t going crazy and someone else out there knows exactly how you’re feeling. We want someone to explain the things we can’t. We love everything tied up neatly, easy, simple. And when we can’t do that, it scares the hell out of us. To not know the next step, or where you’re headed, kills. Being unsure isn’t in our plans. But it’s those moments, the ones where you risk it and step unknowingly into the future, that assures us life is larger than we’ll ever know.



"You can really tell a lot about a person from their taste in music. What pushes them through the hard times, what makes them jump and dance and what makes tears come to their eyes. You just have to hear what they do."

And I don't wanna lose another year. Wherever I go, I always find myself back here. And all the nights we spent just watching TV in your room. All the days we lost, thinking that we couldn't lose. And I look back at the stupid things I used to do, and I wouldn't change, I wouldn't trade a thing.



We fell in love with the windows rolled down, chasing the sunset through another empty town. Your hair was a mess when you would dance on the coast. Your silhouette like some heavenly ghost. When you're only eighteen, and you have nothing to lose. And you're living a dream with the sand in your shoes. You said falling in love is easy, falling in love is easy to do.And though it may hurt to have your heart broken in two. That didn't stop me from falling for you. Oh, I’m falling for you.



I want to wake up to that view in your window, the one that overlooks everything below. I want to wake up in your arms, my skin pressed against yours. I want to shower in your bathroom and wash my face in your sink. I want to make you coffee and have toast with you. I want to read the morning paper with you and drive to work with you. I want to have our photo in a frame at the corner of my desk. I want to come home from work to you. I want to hold you and feel you and love you properly. I want to make dinner with you. I want to do the dishes and sort the laundry with you. I want to get ready for bed with you. I want to fall asleep in your arms, and wake up to you and do everything all over again. I want to be with you.



“Because if I'm not with you right now, I have this feeling we'll get lost out there. It's a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment, the moment that could have changed everything. I don't know what's going on with us, and I can't tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good. Like home. And you make excellent coffee. That's got to count for something, right?”



I have so much to give to you. So much love and heart and soul. So much caring. Everything that I have in me. I am not an empty vessel. I am brimming with passion and smiles and stories and pictures and romance. I want to break it, everything inside of me, into a million tiny pieces and wrap them up and give you one every day until you have all of them. All of me. I have never wanted anyone to have so much of me before. I have had parts of me taken, almost unwillingly. But I want you to have me. That is the difference.



All we ever wanted was love and love and happy afternoons, watching TV from your room while you're lying in my arms. And I know it's not fair to me. Tonight I will sit next to you to see if you act like we're through. To make you laugh is all I want. I'll hold you while tears fill our eyes.



Forget all those places that you've never really been, and all those situations you somehow found yourself in. Let your body sink into me, like your favorite memory, like a line of poetry, or a fucking fit of honesty. I'll do my best to keep you.

So how do I do normal? The smile I fake, the permanent wave of cue cards and fix it kits. Can't you tell? I'm not myself. I'm a slow motion accident, lost in coffee rings and fingerprints. I don't wanna feel anything, but I do. And it all comes back to you.



He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others - the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, in sofar as it was an empty white room. He would sleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his ribcage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by mid afternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.

"I think there is something beautiful in reveling in sadness. The proof is how beautiful sad songs can be. So I don’t think being sad is to be avoided. It’s apathy and boredom you want to avoid. But feeling anything is good, I think.”



Would you like to run away with me? We can hide away on trains and watch the scenery play like a film. We can hitchhike with strangers and listen to the stories they tell. We’ll make love in a cheap hotel room, and tell the neighbors that they were only hearing the television. We can explore this new terrain and sleep beneath sea stars. We can fill in the gaps of our conversations with kisses, so that we will never know an awkward silence. We can build a home among the thinkers and the lovers. And if you should ever disappear, know that I will disappear with you.



In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.”You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.



“When it comes to love, you need not fall but rather surrender, surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another. You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another. And most importantly, you must accept your flaws before you can accept the flaws of another.”

The way we get to live forever is through memories stored in the hearts and souls of those whose lives we touch. That’s our soul print. Its our comfort, our emotional nourishment at the end of the day and the end of a life. How wonderful that they are called up at will and savored randomly. It seems to me we should spend our lives in a conscious state of creating these meaningful moments that live on. Memories matter.



Time is tricky. You have whole months, even years, when nothing changes a speck, when you don’t go anywhere or do anything or think one new thought. And then you can get hit with a day or an hour, or half a second, when so much happens its almost like you are born all over again into some brand-new person you for damn sure never expected to meet.

You don't just automatically love someone. You have to slowly learn to trust, then you start believing them. You want to be with them more to the point where you're jealous of anyone who tries to be with that person. Then it gets you mad but you get past it, you can't be jealous anymore. You can't because you have this undying confidence that this person will never leave you, they will never betray you, and that they would never pick someone else over you, that you're irreplaceable. That's when the confidence hits you, that you really do love each other and it's unbreakable.



Have you ever been with someone when your hearts were beating in the same rhythm? That's true love. A man and a woman with their hearts beating together are truly lucky. You might see that person once a month, once a year, once a life time, but you have the guarantee your lives are going to be in rhythm. That's all you need.



“And yeah, my life would probably be a whole hell of a lot easier if I just walked out that door right now. I know that. But the thing is, I already know that there's not one fucking thing on the other side of that door could ever come close to making me as happy as I am when I'm with you. That's why I'm here, because I love you. No matter how hard things get, no matter what shit life throws at us, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. I want to spend the rest of my life right here, right next to you.”



She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying. Cries when she’s happy, and laughs when shes afraid. Her love is unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong with her - and that is that sometimes she forgets what she is worth.

You got lost for a while. You've been trying to find a smile. You got stood up, then you fell down, and when you needed, there was no one around. You loved the previews and hate the movie. You scream at the screen, "Something move me," before you start to fade away.



There comes a time in everyone's lives where they learn that the only way to live happy is to grasp, embrace, love life and the person that they are. And when they stop loving themselves and start relying on others to do it for them.. well, that's when they truly start to lose themselves and the happiness that they started to feel.



We spend most of our time talking about nothing, but I just want to let you know that all those nothings have meant so much more to me than so many somethings. Too many people get caught up in what could be instead of appreciating what is. Don't fall into that trap. Appreciate what you have and who you have, because the future can take it all away from you.


Hope you are all having a lovely summer. Please comment! And always feel free to follow me on tumblr: still-dreaming.tumblr.com

And we're driving just as fast as we can, and we're racing to outrun the wind. It's just me and you, and you and me. So wild eyed, so young, bright eyed and free. And we're trying to get out of here, and a small town romance draws ever near. And I swear we're in a movie. The highlight comes when you kiss me. And the stereo sings our song, we don't hesitate to sing along. Drive to dream to live, we could see the world tonight. Here to hope tomorrow, we could see the world. And we're miles from the middle of nowhere, and neither of us seems to care. And neither of us has a place to be, so for once and forever tell me all, tell me all of your dreams.



We took the highway that curves along the ocean on a Friday. The sun was falling down, and you were shining. The rhythm of the waves was keeping time as you were singing this. Maybe I would disappear without you, maybe I would fall into the sky. But I'm in heaven orbiting around you, and your pretty eyes.



For the sake of secrets, let’s say I'm safe. Let's say I got a hiding place. Let's say I've made apologies, the hearts I've broken have been appeased. Let's say the storm, like most, will pass. Let's sing a song for relief at last. Let's say that only time will tell if I'm really over being overwhelmed. I've made mistakes, they keep me company. Oh man, what's up with me? But I've changed, it's comforting.



The ends coming quick, but not quick enough. You say that you care, but I'm calling your bluff. Because I once was in love, but love's fucking blind. So as I swallow these pills, I pray for the sunshine. I could sleep all day and not sleep it off. I speak all day and not speak enough. I'm force fed the weeks, throw up the nights. Curse my existence and turn off the lights.

But somehow when I'm with you, my state of mind improves. And I won't need that medicine to concentrate again. And I know it isn't fair to expect you to care for someone who won't get well. I think we can both tell that this is the final night to get this goodbye right. So I hope that when I leave, you will still think of me. Not as I am today, but as someone you wanted to stay.



Don't tell her that I drink tea and not coffee. I'd prefer if you didn't talk at all about me, even in a brief casual chat. Don't tell her how I loved your smile, or things like that. Don't tell her how I was your best friend. Don't tell her how it could never work out in the end. Don't tell her how you learned a lesson from me, and that's why you have to take things slow and easy. If you can forgive me for my faults, then maybe it can work out after all. I can't stand anybody knowing me the way you do, and I can't stand the thought of her knowing you. Don't tell her about that camping trip we took, don't tell her how I bite my lip and never finish a book. Don't tell her how I like to sleep in late, or that I believe in romance and fate. Well, what if we meet on some cross-town street? And you'll introduce us and we'll finally meet. And I'll be alone when you're walking away, and I'll be wondering what she's going to say. Well, I know we'll never be the way we were, but don't tell her. Don't tell her that I'm too old for my age. Don't tell her that this love of mine was just a stage. She doesn't need to know my point of view. She'll never love you like the way that I do. Don't tell her that I love you like I do.



Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette. A lifeless face that you'll soon forget. My eyes are damp from the words you left ringing in my head, when you broke my chest. And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one. Cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun, to distract our hearts from ever missing them. But I'm forever missing him.



Maybe if my heart stops beating it won't hurt this much. And never will I have to answer again to anyone. Please don't get me wrong, because I'll never let this go. But I can't find the words to tell you. I don't want to be alone, but now I feel like I don't know you. One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's alright. And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending, just like I am tonight.

I can hear you downstairs crying on the phone, telling someone that I'm here, but you still feel all alone. Maybe we were too young, I should have never believed him. Maybe I should just leave here. Maybe I'm not, but you're all I got left to believe in. In every frame upon our wall, lies a face that's seen it all. Through ups and downs and then more downs, we helped each other off of the ground. No one knows what we've been through, making it ain't making it without you. And I know that it's been hard, and it's been a long time coming. Don't give up on me, I'm about to come alive.



She says she’s tired of working overtime, and troubles weighing on her mind. She said she’d like to pack her bags and runaway, and never look back. She says, “This life of mine’s like doing time for crimes that I didn’t commit.” She says, “If life is just a game, I’m on the losing team and I just want to quit.” She says we can take this weekend, drive out past city limits, keep on driving just as far as we can go. And maybe when we get back, things will seem a little better, things will work out in a way we couldn’t know..



“Part of the problem is that everyone is in such a hurry. People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running. Once you start running it’s hard to slow yourself down.”



Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating. And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing. Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together. I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever. Forever and ever.



"People leave marks on your life that never fade away. They teach you things even you didn’t know about yourself. They change you and your perspectives. And most importantly, they stay in your heart, even if their presence is no longer."



And I remember the skin of your fingers, the spot three quarters up I’d always touch when I was out of things to say. You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand. I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear, that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand. And I remember how you smiled through the smoke in a crowded little coffee house and laughed at all my jokes. And I remember the way that you dressed and, how we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat.



Looking back’s getting me down. It’s harder to trudge on then it used to be for us. I’m writing this for old friends that I miss, to start and end things the right way. I’m writing to tell you I’m thinking of giving up. Gather up while I feel alive, like I haven’t in a longtime..

Your job is killing you faster than a cancer could. So now you're giving up like they always said you would. You've got that old map out now and you found the farthest town. You hope that if you're lucky this is where you'll settle down.



I’m writing this letter to tell you I don’t love you anymore. I don’t miss you, I never have. The truth is, I tried. But I never found your adoration anything other than arduous, your niceties clichéd, your praise thoughtless. And it has become unbearably obvious that you love me with all the originality of romance novels. The manly man weakening the luscious flower. But do not be sad, nothing is lost. Neither of us even loved the other truly. You only thought you did, and I only wanted to. But I couldn’t, we both know that.



I slept with the lies I keep inside my head. I found out I was guilty, but I won't be around for the sentencing, cause I'm leaving on the next airplane. And though I know that my actions are impossible to justify, they seem adequate to fill up my time. But if I could talk to myself like I was someone else, well then maybe I could take your advice, and I wouldn't act like such an asshole all the time.

And I can still remember. You know, I can still hear your voice, although your silence still rings so clear. And do you think, do you think I would call just to hear you breathe? You always knew, you always knew that just one word would dry up all my tears.



Well I'm thinking of the worst things that I could say to you, but a promise doesn't mean a thing anymore. And this never will be right with me, and now you're trying desperately. But I'm tongue tied and terrified of what I'll say. But I never told you everything. I'm losing hope and fading dreams, and every single memory along the way.



You can't waste time over missing something in the past. Life changes, people grow up and grow apart, and you accept that. Yet you still can't stop thinking of how good it used to be; afraid you'll never experience it again, afraid you've already lived it and already lost it.

What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art.Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.



Well I thought that we could sit around and talk for hours about things I couldn't say to you, and things that we can never do. And this conversation has had no face, when the words take days. You can re-write and erase anything. So tell me honestly, did you ever really want this? I'll borrow words from all my favorite paragraphs, to write a ballad while we say the things you hope would mean the most to me. And each letter sent I have found in the pages. The hope for the days when I feel like I've lost everything.



It's too late to be saved by your charm, we'll never get this right. Your words are cold, and the season is too. The comfort in your voice is gone. Don't keep in touch, I'm better off all alone. You've lost everything that I've loved. So is it worth this time? Am I done in your mind? Will I regret once you're gone? Why did I ever think that we would, we would be good?

And you can try to fight this all you want, but I won't be there. I won't be there when you're all alone. This new season, it brings with it signs of hope. Now you can't leave me. You can't leave me waiting all alone. And I know there is some place I can go, where no one knows my name.

For what it's worth, I've always admired you. I always thought that we could make it through. Now look what time can do, it took our masterpiece we built and broke it in two. But I always believed in you, I always loved you. And this is so difficult for the both of us, I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us. Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game. All my walking, talking,sleeping, breathing. Nothing will ever be the same.



"I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning."